Spy Journal 3.0 Filtering the web for you

Went through the hard times together
28 years I’ve known ya
Roh you are never gonna be forgotten
Cos I love you mate
And you live in my heart forever and
It stinks
Cos I won’t get to hear your voice again
And that sucks
To think about this is an emotion
Raw and wide open
I don’t know what this feeling is
And it sucks
I hold all my memories of times with you dear
I’ll treasure your grin and laugh
Your endless giving of support
Your generosity of spirit
Waves of sadness are rolling off me
Grief for your loved ones
Grief for the world’s loss
Grief – what an emotion
It sucks
Pause
Remember
Spark
Memories comes to me
Snippets of video igniting afresh in my brain
Moments I’ve stored for healing in this time
Shared experiences, rallies, photos, cars, models, tech, family, hospitals, floods, the list goes on
I’m getting emotional
This side of the brain is deeply delving
Remembering
Savouring
Grieving
Laughing
Joy
Your spirit lives on

Written on the news of Rohan hills Passing
1 May 2023
© Timothy Miller

The waves rhythmically lap against the shore. What seems permanent in the moment is variable and shifts over time. The sand banks of today are the gutters of tomorrrow.

A continuous line of boats and jetskis heading out to play. A heron stalking it's prey while next to it two Spoonbills are busy digging for theirs. All right in the moment.

Fishermen repeatedly cast and wind, cast and wind.
My wife and daughter are chatting in the water. Catching up on each other's busy lives in this stolen moment of peace.

The sun warms my back as it continues its inexorable march towards its destiny. A yellow billed lapwing observes me with beady eyes. What does it see? How does it value time?

My shadow reflects my every move. Crows caw. Swallows flitter and squeak. Boats creak. There is serenity in this moment. I choose to rest in the midst of turmoil.

As the rat catcher stepped on my head
I felt a visceral wave of dread
Pounding me down like legions of dead
Skeletons glimpsed in the mists ahead

Oh no I’ve opened the licht kings lair
So now I must needs go sneaking near
Hoping to find an unguarded stair
That way I may take him unaware

And just as I find a doorway in
A feeling I am about to win
Floods me with chemicals from within
Creating a neural network in

I just hacked into the minds archive
Find what I need to keep me alive
Arcane records from which I derive
Futures unfolding yet to arrive

Written 22 January 2023

One thousand butterflies dancing across naked skin
Gossamer touches of ecstasy and pain
Delicate spiny toes stabbing soulward
Chemical nanites coursing through wide veins
Alluring alleyways of awareness
Self realisation

[PAUSE]

Deep frequency dreams thrumming through taut sinews
Discombobulating foundations of knowledge
Grasping for theoretical solidity
Butterfly wings soaring over an abyss
Paper pillars portray illusion
Oblivion

[PAUSE]

Crows caw conjecture and contention
Mighty trunks splintered by ravenous beaks
Shredded remnants of trust
A feather twists and drops
Resident amongst ruin and neglect
Forgotten